If I Care

(Insert hip jerk and sarcastic undertones)

"It is risky to care - I may be disappointed."

It is risky to care. Caring is an investment - a vulnerability that requires more of myself and a commitment to a higher calling. This requires me to let the world in. I could be hurt by disappointments or pain, but living in fear is no better. Being cynical, and self-protective only leaves me feeling alone and tired. Taking the step to invest in others and give freely takes courage and tenacity, because it never gets easy.

We need people to care.

I went to my scripture reading for the day during my quiet time this morning. This has been a long journey for me (that is, reading scripture deliberately, daily). I turned away from the church and anything that had to do with Jesus for many years. We began attending a sweet church almost two years ago (this is an entire blog post in itself) and I have slowly been drawn back in by this man that served the world. Last Lent, instead of giving something up, a friend of mine and I decided to pick up a practice. Mine was reading scripture. I continued  beyond Easter, as I was seeing God really speak to me through the words of the Bible and knew the teaching was not over.

OK, so now that that's out of the way. Today as I listened (Pray As You Go) to John 3:13-17, I heard the same message from the quote I just listed above. Care. The words of this verse are not unfamiliar to me, but the assimilation of the text in my heart today was (hear what the Spirit is saying). John 3:16 was one of our first memory verses in my Southern Baptist upbringing. The focus when I was young was on this promise not to perish (if you made the right choice) and how we should appreciate this thing that has been given because we are sinners (=bad) and God decided to fix what we screwed up (=we suck). (I am trying to convey the negative imagery I had around this verse as a child, and it does not seem to be coming through.) Nonetheless, as I heard it this morning, I heard the message of love.

The leader of the message today mentioned how easy it is to hate the world. For me, this brought me back to how challenging it is to care about the world. Why should I invest myself when no one else is and they are out for themselves. If I don't go out for myself, no one will. This mindset is how our world sort-of works, until someone makes a different choice. This morning, my choice was to look for something around me that shows me the miracles of this life. It starts small - the little chickadees eating at our bird feeder in the early morning sunlight, dew adorns the ground, chirping of the cardinals linger in the air. There! I just took a whole 30 seconds to acknowledge something beautiful.

Throughout the day today, I believe this post has been revealing itself to me. I have had opportunities to see how I can care in my own life and I want to share these with you.

How to Care:

* Connect 

We must first connect with ourselves and our God. We must search within ourselves to find the truth of what's alive in us in that moment and acknowledge our own needs and what we are being called to do. This takes vulnerability and honesty with ourselves and our God. Admitting the fear or anger is the first step to moving past it.

* Attune

This is a very musical word. I hear 'tune' and immediately think of some sort of instrument. We are instruments. To truly care and be in this world without condemning it, we must bring harmony by connecting our needs with the needs of others. This takes the practice of connecting to the needs of others.

* Respond

Today in yoga, I did a practice surrounding the choice to respond rather than react. The teacher mentioned that reactivity is our instinct - the part of ourselves that seek to survive. This is our fight-or-flight and our instinct to shut down when we are scared or hurting - the part of ourselves that freaks out and saves us from being hit by a car. This is a vital part of life when it comes to said car incidents, but in most human relationships, it can be a dangerous ally.

Responding is our intuition. It's that part within us that is connected to our higher thinking (that piece that, for me, is my pipeline from God) and acting from that place.

* Empathize

We must see the humanity in ourselves and other people. This may mean simply listening. To listen empathically, without judgements, to the hearts of people, while acknowledging what is alive in us, is how we truly care and bring love and light into this world.

Blessings on the Journey!

Obstacles to Success

This morning, I have been writing, reading, meditating and pondering faith. This is a big word, and it has a tendency to ignite strong reactions in people. Maybe old messages about this word spring to mind. Or possibly, one has the tender knowing that this is something they foster in their life. The truth for me is that this word has often sprung me into reaction. This word has never sat well with me - all the more reason to now write about it.

The greatest obstacle to faith is fear. When I am fearful that I won't be provided for or that my wildest dreams won't come true if I simply do the next right thing or wait on God, faith is a challenging feat. As I grow spiritually, I am more aware of the implications of faith.

* Faith is not Laziness. 
I must continue showing up, daily to my journal, my mat, and my Self. God meets me in these places.

* Faith is not Ignorance.
I am fully aware of what my life-circumstances are telling me. HA! Not really!!! Sometimes I am aware, and sometimes I am stubborn and don't want to see what all the messages around me are saying. When I am not present to these truths, I sit in them (sometimes squirming) and wait for more to be reveals.

* Faith is not a Light Switch. 
I can't just turn on my faith and leave it, hoping it will remain present. I must actively choose to be aware of the position of that light. I imagine it's like having a house full of toddlers, into shutting off all the lights. I must go turn the light back on, again and again, or I will be in the dark.

* Faith is a Mystery. 
So what is faith to me? It is a mystery. I can't explain how or why it works. It's choosing to believe that something out there (namely, God) has a plan in this world and my life is a part of it. I cannot always have a bird's-eye view of the world and my place in it, so faith is trusting that a Power greater than my self has that perspective and I am included in it. It's choosing to believe that I am being guided and that when I keep my eyes, ears, and heart open, anything and anyone can be a beacon to my next stepping stone. Faith is a choice - a choice to believe.