clean slate

Who I was in high school is not someone I remember all too well, and frankly I am grateful that my memory has slipped away in that regard. Who I was is not someone I would necessarily stand here and brag about, but I was not too bad. Snobbery consumed me; judgment and criticism kept me on top. For me, it was a pecking order and I was forever fighting to get up that ladder. I never really felt like I was there, and I never felt comfortable trying to get there.

High school for me just felt awkward and confusing. I never felt like I fit.

So why do I bring this up, almost 10 years after my high school graduation? Well, I have been running into people that I have not seen since high school. Entities like Facebook have brought some of them back into my life, but the intensity is far too impersonal for any fret. Seeing these people, face-to-face brought a great deal up for me. I do not want to be the person I was then and do not want people to see me for that who I was. I have worked too hard over these last few years to not let others define me or dictate my worth.

I know it's none of my business what people think of me. It is really their loss if they are going to have a closed mind and keep me in some mold I was in then. I cannot remember much of high school due to illness, but I really do not even want to be remembered for who I was. I would rather get to know these people all over again and start new. I would like a clean slate. I do not know anyone from those years anymore. I did not even know myself then, let alone really anyone else. So here's to a clean slate.

Hopefully this post is not too disjointed. I am rather tired tonight.

Blesses Be!