love, tolerance, acceptance

This morning, after breakfast, Camden walked up to me, still in her PJs, with a pair of sparkly, sequin shoes. She said, "Mommy hope (which translates as 'help')." She said that she wanted to be a princess. Once I helped her get on her shoes, it was time for the dress. She said, "Now the dress."

Camden is in her sparkly shoes and polka-dot dress playing with trains and horses. The traditional stereotypes of what girls should do and wear and what boys should do and wear are ignored by toddlerhood.

I want Camden to know it is OK to play in the mud, be a princess, play with trains, eat dirt, play dress-up, read books, play any sport, and be whomever she wants to be, but some are not so fortunate. Unfortunately, there are some pretty harsh stereotypes that we have to associate with boys and girls. Little girls wear pink; little boys wear blue. Although the color of one's clothes may not be all too significant, I find myself thinking sometimes, "that is for boys."

For the past few days I have wanted to write something about story of the young boy in Oxnard, California that was shot. Some say this is a hate crime because the young boys was gay. As I was on the elliptical yesterday I was listening to Patty Griffin's Flaming Red and "Tony" came on. This song, if you have not heard it, is about a young boy - "a quiet boy, little over weight; he had breasts like a girl" - who takes his own life because he "looked in the mirror saw that little faggot staring back at him; pulled out a gun and blew himself away."  

"Funny, how I never knew; there I was sitting right behind you... I guess you finally stopped believing that any hope would ever find you."

I felt tears roll down my face, which can be a strange occurrence in a public workout facility. Nonetheless, I felt so much emotion around all this and wondered how I could change the world's view in all this. I cannot single-handedly convince the world that we are all individuals with our own preferences - whether boy or girl. I cannot make people in this world teach their children how to love all God's children. I cannot stop hate crimes. I can, however, keep an open mind and teach my little one the values of love, acceptance, and tolerance for all people - no matter their shape, name, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, race, gender or personal opinions. I can teach her how valuable individuality is, for without it we would be an extremely boring, lifeless world. I can teach her the benefits of loving and accepting others and having friends of all walks of life.

It seems in the South there are some pretty narrow stereotypes I see. If you are not a white, christian, in a monogamous, heterosexual relationship with another white person with at least two kids (only if you are married, of course) and a clean house you are out of the norm and therefore judgement comes. I am many of those things listed above... but I am also not many of them and have seen some pretty harsh judgement for it.

I think that is enough said. Thanks for listening.