Career Move

I am back from a nine-day hiatus from home care, schooling the kids, play-dates, phone calls to friends, Nashville and what could be considered "real life." Aside from the acute altitude sickness and some other mild internal drama, being away from home and "life" felt rather relaxing. I didn't think about when I went to bed, what I ate, or when I woke up. I had some internal conflicts about petty things that really aren't too intense, but enough to get me thinking in a deeper way about how I view people.  I reflected, as usual!

Now that I am home, I am sitting here thinking, "Does anyone really care what I have to write?" For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write. I have wanted people to read what I have to write and be enlightened, informed, or proud. Is that vain? Wow! That seems so egocentric. I know I have gifts that are meant for service to those around me, and, yet, I attach this gift to my self-worth or value and long for more affirmation - more praise. I want people to see me!

That's really it! I really want to be seen and encourage others to see themselves and others. I want to be the human being that I am - raw, real, and messy - and encourage others to be that, too. I want to talk about the things no one really wants to admit - like how I get jealous, angry, and exasperated! I am doing this. That is why I write.

I have a dream to have a published book - and I believe I will have that. I have many written, and the topic has never seemed spot-on. The last two years now seem to be the topic I am called to write about. How can so many circumstances (that, honestly, need to f@#$ing stop) bring one through life? How can I be learning so much, and still so sad, grieving and angry all at the same time? How can I have some of the greatest friends in the world? How can things from my past still haunt me so?

I have been told I am a natural teacher and leader. How does that fold into my daily life? Home school has definitely allowed me to have these gifts shine (and be more dull than ever - schooling ones own children is so different than teaching and leading others). I have been told how connected and aware I am. That has helped me help others that have similar life experiences I have. When I write, some share how much they appreciate me speaking my truth. The motivation for these things is critical to my progress toward my goals.

May I teach, lead, connect, be aware, and share in a way that I give service to others, while fulfilling my purpose. That sounds like a pretty good career!

Blessings!