Go with the Flow

I woke this morning with a splitting headache. My thinking-self began to analyze and decipher, "Why?" How often I ask, "Why?" Why do certain things happen over others? Why do people make the choices they do? Why do I feel this way? The question "Why?" permeates my brain more than I would like to admit.

I began writing a post this morning about Restorative yoga. I had a detailed account of the different types of yoga and why (there's that words again!) I traditionally choose the more aggressive, intense styles of yoga. I want to explore and know why I prefer rigorous forms over others. The answer is: it does not matter. The answers to the question "Why?" is usually, "It does not matter."

Countless people have written books with pages, upon pages filled with reasons for WHY things happen. Why "good" things happen to "bad" people (is it the other way around?) and the like. Really, it is life. Simply put, I know, and it is the truth. For whatever reason, I am not meant to know why things happen. I can often look back and see how I've grown and changed, how I wouldn't have come to a certain place without what transpired. The reality is, the process is the process. I must trust the process, especially when it doesn't make sense.

I have come to truly believe we are not given more than we can handle, and when the shit hits the fan, that's a challenging phrase to embrace. When I have gone through my biggest struggles, I come to take it as a compliment: "Spirit must believe I am strong." One of the greatest gifts I have received from the challenges of the last thirteen months is to keep moving forward. When I stop and try to decipher the "Why?" of it all, I get stuck. I am stuck in the treacherous pain, the fear, and the unbearable realities. When my brain begins to think, I miss so many of the miracles. When I allow the process to continue, taking what I need and leaving the rest (mainly the "why" of it all), I am able to truly see the miracles and find gratitude.   

Whether there is a God up in heaven planning my entire life or I was part of a pow-wow with Spirit to plan this journey, life is a process that keeps moving. The process does, however, require some flow for the ebb. I have grown so accustomed to the fast-paced flow of life that I forget to slow down. I want to move through my pain as quickly as possible, emerging from the other side changed, better. It's why Restorative yoga is challenging for me AND the restoration after the fast-paced, intense, painful, unbearable practice is a must for me to truly gain the benefits of the practice. 

There's where my work lies: to release my need to understand and embrace the flow of my life, slowly. Sometimes, that means sitting in the discomfort, pain and agony and reaching for something higher than my mind - a Power greater than myself that can embrace, hold, and transform!  

Blessings on the Journey!